I’ve been reading through the books of Samuel again lately, and one character in a particular story stuck out to me today.
It’s Michal, daugher of Saul.
Specifically how the story says she sees David, her husband, dancing as he is bringing the ark of the covenant back to Jerusalem – and essenially calls him a fool.
“…How the king of Israel has distinguished himself today, going around half naked in full view of the slave girls of his servants as any vulgar fellow would!” (2 Sam 6:20, NIV)
(First of all – David wasn’t half naked. The original text says he was wearing a linen ephod, which was what went under the robes of a priest. So, he was maybe in what we’d see as long underwear. Point being: he just wasn’t fully dressed in battle armor or priestly robes, as would have been fitting for a king.)
I imagine her mocking voice, disgusted by his behavior.
Most times, this passage is taught putting her in a bad light, and the focus is on David’s reply: I was dancing for the Lord, and I will be even more ‘undignified’ than this. In fact, I don’t care how humiliating it seems – this wasn’t for you. So deal with it.
The author even says she never had any children from then on.
So she was being critical of him, for sure. I’ll give her that.
But have you ever considered WHY?
Let’s take a moment and look at the journey of Michal’s life:
⁃ She was in love with David and married him, but only after her dad (Saul) used it as tool to try and get David killed by the Philistines (1 Sam 18). Based on the time when David became king at 30, according to 2 Sam 5, they were probably pretty young at this point
⁃ She was given away to another man while David was off on the military campaigns Saul sent him on (1 Sam 25:43-44). David ended up marrying other women and having children with them – Abigail, Ahinoam, Maakah, Haggith, Abital, Eglah (2 Sam 3:2)
⁃ She was a bargaining tool in a peace treaty. After Saul died and David became king, Saul’s military leader Abner decided to align himself with David. But David would only make an agreement with him for peace if he would bring Michal back. Her then-husband Paltiel was grief stricken and begged for her not to be taken. I choose to read this that he really loved and cared for her well and saw her being given to David as a loss.. but kings will be kings and take what is theirs, right? (2 Sam 3:13-16)
⁃ Her remaining family was slaughtered by David’s men, even though he didn’t ask for that to be done. That’s just what you did in those days when your family came into power, so there wouldn’t be anyone to contest your throne. (2 Sam 4)
One can only imagine the mental and emotional space that she lived in. Perhaps she didn’t overthink it, perhaps she had developed a tough skin. It’s difficult to take 21st century perspective and put it on cultural stories thousands of years old, so we have to be careful we don’t assume she felt like a chess piece.
No where are we told that she worshipped the Lord. Maybe she did, maybe she didn’t. That’s probably not critical to the story.
But when she sees David dancing and celebrating, I can’t help but wonder if she felt like a chess piece, a trophy of one of his conquests, far from the young infatuation that drew them together at the start before he was king. Afer all, she had recently been brought back to his house, but now finds herself just one of a handful of wives.
As to the statement that she never had any kids from there on out? The text doesn’t say she had kids with Paltiel either, so its possible she was barren, or old enough that menopause had kicked in and couldn’t. I know then they would have seen it as a judgement because of her mockery of David, but I’m not so sure I see it that way.
We never know what life was like for her after. Perhaps in time she could see the way David was a good king. Perhaps she wasn’t ignored and he still loved her – but because this isn’t a text focused on relationship and romance, we will never know.
1 Chronicles says she ‘despised him in her heart’. But how could an author determine what was in her heart? all of that would have been based on assumptions of actions.
Maybe they were right. I mean, come on – we all know you can read some people’s reactions on their faces, right?
Where am I going with this?
I just want to pause a moment and have some compassion for Michal here, and for any of you out there that might feel like a chess piece on someone else’s chess board.
Maybe your love has been manipulated or used as a tool against you or someone you love. Maybe love has been forcefully taken away from you, or denied you. Maybe you have lived with someone for years and feel like you are second-hand now, an afterthought and not valued, and you see your spouse or partner still walking around like nothing is going on and you don’t feel seen or heard or valued.
I’m here to remind you that God sees you, loves you, and knows your pain.
I’m sorry that your love has been used, manipulated, ignored, and minimized.
I’m sorry if religion or faith have bruised the heart and soul of who you are.. that never should have happened.
… and for what it’s worth, I can promise you that Jesus will never treat you like that. He sees your love. He cares for your heart. He won’t manipulate it, ignore it, or minimize it. His love isn’t fractured or divided. It’s pure and refreshing as summer rain. It is real and can be known within any condition, any relationship, any place you find yourself.
My prayer for you today, whoever you are, is that you can grieve, get angry, whatever you need to do, but that you can also risk turning to the One who knows you and loves you more than you can ever imagine. Take a chance. Ask him to show you, in the millions of ways he can.
Practically – yes, get counseling when you need. Have your spouse or partner go with you if that relationship is the one that needs healing. There is power and freedom in truth (Jesus said that too). But there is no greater healer of the hidden things of our hearts, no one who can help take your bitterness and anger, resentment and hatred, and set you free to love rightly and offer yourself to the world again.
Don’t stay looking out the window waiting for someone else to make things right. Take care of your own heart and soul. You are worth it!
Finding the Life 